As you may be aware I’m having some physical illnesses at the moment. Specifically my large intestine has stopped working and my rectum is disintegrating. As a stop gap measure I had surgery to give me an Ileostomy to bypass my large intestine and rectum, my poo (sorry to be so personal) now comes out of a hole in my stomach.
Having gotten used to my new Tummy Bummy and accompanying bag, I have to decide whether to have a reversal that would include removing my large intestine altogether, repairing my rectum (if they can) and then connecting my small intestine directly to my rectum, which would give me the opportunity to be somewhat normal. OR could be an epic failure requiring ongoing surgeries finally resulting in me having to go back to having an Ileostomy.
Now you may be wondering why I’m telling you all this on My Bipolar Life…..But my biggest fear is that during all these surgeries and recoveries my state of mind will become unstable. How would I seek treatment for severe depression or mania if I’m physically unwell? What if I need ECT? I also worry, when I’m making decisions about what surgeries to have, whether I’m truly in my right mind, I am petrified I’ll make a decision now and then later realise I wasn’t thinking right and I’ve made an irreversible mistake.
I’m about to seek a second medical opinion from an alternate surgeon to ensure I know all my options and have some semblance of agreement between experts before I make the final leap and book the next round of surgery. I’ll let you know how I get on.
Has anyone else dealt with major physical illness alongside their Bipolar disorder and do you have any advice you can share?
Thanks for listening.