27/02/15 The Dreaded Diagnosis of a Mixed State

Mixed State
Manic and Depressed simultaneously – who would’ve thought?!

Yesterday I attended an appointment with my psychiatrist to reassess my state of health after a number of weeks of electroconvulsive therapy.  I was hoping to be told I was coming out of my major depressive episode and was on the road to good health.  I was dreading the realistic possibility that I would be told I was in a mixed state, which is exactly what happened.

So while I still have residual symptoms from my major depressive episode. I now have a new range of symptoms to deal with as well (hence the mixed state diagnosis). First of all lets inspect the residual symptoms from the depression. I am still very agoraphobic, lethargic, and suffering from low self-esteem and a complete lack of appetite. I also have poor personal hygiene and high anxiety. All of these things however are comparatively good as compared with how I was pre-ECT.

My new symptoms are mania related. They include racing thoughts (mostly negative), high anxiety (once again), fixations, irrational agitation, over-reaction to somewhat emotional events and lack of appetite (once again) to name a few. These mania symptoms need to be curbed before I fall into a full manic period and my psychiatrist has made changes to my care plan to avoid this happening.

First of all, he has reduced one of my anti-depressants to two tablets a day instead of three. Secondly, he has put me on an anti-psychotic medication (which acts somewhat as a sedative) and reduces the amount of valium I require. Thirdly he will most likely finish my electroconvulsive therapy as of this coming Monday, to ensure the treatments don’t push me further into mania. He has also asked me to make sure I eat at least one small portion per day as a starting point to fixing my lack of appetite, which I started this morning by eating one wheatbix (and I managed not to throw it up which was a miracle) for breakfast. He has also asked me to ensure I leave the house a few times a week to socialise with friends and/or do shopping etc, to combat my agoraphobia, this too I have already begun, despite how incredibly uncomfortable it makes me. I have faith in my psychiatrist and I am confident that these adjustments will work to balance me out and bring me to a place of well-being.

The down side to all of this is that I need to stay in Brisbane for at least the next two weeks in order to finish my ECT and see my psychiatrist in his rooms. Daniel (my husband) however must head home to Chinchilla for work and that means that once again we will be apart for a number of weeks and I will miss him dreadfully. Furthermore, my birthday is in just over 10 days and so I won’t be able to celebrate it with him. I dare say my birthday will pass this year without any real celebration, which is ok, it just makes me a bit sad. I deeply appreciate my parents-in-law allowing me to stay with them, but I also really miss the comforts of my own home and can’t wait to get back there. Fingers and toes crossed that in two more weeks I will be given a relatively clear bill of health and I’ll be on my way home! I’ll keep you posted!

8 thoughts on “27/02/15 The Dreaded Diagnosis of a Mixed State

  1. Karren February 27, 2015 / 4:09 pm

    You can do it, your doing so well xxx

    • emilyjtelfer February 27, 2015 / 8:56 pm

      Thanks Karren, your support is deeply appreciated.

  2. Charmaine February 27, 2015 / 6:02 pm

    I wrote to you before, I’m still currently having maitenence ects, and was taken straight off valium, I was told it counteracts with ects. I’m on an antipsychotic & antidepressant & have had 13 ects now, my next 1 is on Wednesday, having 1 per fortnight now, they will slowly get further apart & replace taking a mood stabilisers. I’m better overall, but still have down days (like today), there just not as severe.
    Don’t worry about your birthday that’s the least of your worries, I was in hospital over Christmas, that was terrible, are you an out patient

    • emilyjtelfer February 27, 2015 / 6:15 pm

      I am an out-patient and am also on maintenance ECT, next Monday is last one (more than likely). I am allowed limited valium but use my anti-psychotic first in the hopes that it will suppress my anxiety enough that I don’t need the valium. I also do not have any valium in the 24hours leading up to an ECT treatment. Thanks for writing me again, it is great to know I’m not alone! I wish you luck with your remaining ECT sessions and I hope that you can manage without mood stabilisers afterwards, it has been many years since I have been drug free. My thoughts are with you today as you are not feeling the best, I can certainly relate. I too have been an inpatient on special occasions before and it sucked big time, but luckily this time I am an out-patient, staying with my in-laws. Best of luck to you once again.

  3. gaye February 27, 2015 / 8:24 pm

    I hope you are well enough to get home soon I try to read all your emails. You are very inspirational. Good luck x

    • emilyjtelfer February 27, 2015 / 8:57 pm

      Thanks Gaye, I really appreciate your support and it makes me feel great that you are following my blog.

  4. Julie Peters February 28, 2015 / 1:46 am

    Sorry to hear the mania is kicking in, I find the agitation etc almost as bad as depression. Hope things improve soon for you

    • emilyjtelfer February 28, 2015 / 8:11 am

      Thank you it is relieving to hear that the agitation effects other people too, it’s the worst. Thank you for supporting me. Kind regards, Emily Jane

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